I slept at 3am! Only to wake up at 5am to groggily eat then fall asleep again, lol. Tomorrow I won't do so groggily. I'll wake up, enjoy the company of my family members and loiter around downstairs [although I may think I'm full] before going upstairs to pray and then sleep. Hahah.
I don't think anyone really understands what I'm feeling about my life right now and it's best I just sort out the mess in my head myself. (:
Another day goes without any change
The feeling we live with still remains
We're stuck in a hole and we're searching for anything to hold on to
There has to be somewhere that we can be safe from the lives we live each day
There has to be somewhere that we can be far away...
We have to escape and I will go anywhere if you just lead the way
Escape to a place where we'll be together, together everyday
We have to escape....
We could be living how we wanted to
Instead of doing things we're forced to do
With no one to tell us that we should be going through, what they went through
There has to be some place that nobody knows, somewhere we can only go
There has to be some place that we can be all alone....
We have to escape...
We have to escape, and I will go anywhere - if you just lead the way. Escape to a place where we'll be together.
My entire room is in a mess. But I don't feel like cleaning it up. It matches the confusion going on in my head right now. Grrr. I feel so bleargh tonight. Endorphins! I need you!
I want you to want me. I need you to need me. I'd love for you to love me. I'm begging you to beg me.
I have to prepare my Philosophy paper, prepare for German test, prepare for Econs test. And that's only because I'm not very sure when the other two modules have their tests.
Hello, meet my kids - Disaster and Calamity.
------
I'll let you whip me if I misbehave.
Adilah + Zul + Lulu + Shaza + Shahrul + Great bbq food [I hope!] = Euphoria.
=)
It was so much fun playing all those silly little games with them. Shah and I have never really met each other's friends so now I see him in a different light. Hahah! [Freak-o.] And he and Zul got along really well! Adilah said they spoke in 'very mat language' to each other, haha. And both of them couldn't play the finger game! Lulu was new to the game as well but she did so much better than both of them. And we girls have difficulty naming countries! Hahah. Especially me and Adilah. Haha blonde jokes and poking fun at certain not-so-blonde people was funnehh as well.
The bbq was a very last minute thing. It was supposed to be just for my sister's friends but on Saturday morning, my mom herself was all psyched up for it so she told me to invite more - but not too many, of my friends as well. So I did. And I'm happy because these girls, I love them totally! The perfect group because I'm closest to them. They ended up leaving my place at midnight. Which worked out very well because I'm the only one with a curfew and since it was at my house, I didn't have a curfew! Haha!
My sister did most of the work. Kay, actually all the work, together with her friends who were very friendly. Her bandmates were strumming their guitars and the whole group was singing along, and they even did Chasing Cars! =) After that, the group moved into the balcony just outside my room and we spent the rest of our time there. =)
Before the entire night, I spent the day with Shah. Inititally we were at Funan, but I got bored. Hee hee, sorry I wasn't good company there! But it's okay, he was bored at Nine West too. Well to be honest, so was I. Haha but my goodness, I love the shoes. One day, I'll have a collection of them, just you wait and see. Haha [wishful thinking]. He got me a pair of couple rings and they look so perfect together. =) We look perfect together.
Ich liebe mein Freund, meine Freundinnen und Schwester! [Understand the last bit, Noreen?]
Five hour phone conversations..
I'm very behind on my readings. It's great to know that while I acknowledge that I'm behind, I can actually find time to go online! Oh well. They say acknowledgement is the first step..to whatever it is that next step is.
I suppose that by not understanding Philosophy, I'm on the right track? Because right now, Socrates has all me all muddled up.
German is taking up alot of my time! But the good thing about learning a language is - well, learning a new language. Deutsch macht viel spaB! But does it have to be so damn heavy? Thrice a week!
Ich liebe mein Freund. :0)
I'm so lucky to have Shahrul.
Really, really am. I think because the past week, we talked alot about our 'history' - the time before we broke up, and meeting him last night made me realize how much he's grown to be a part of my life and how much he means to me. Really. I can't imagine my life without him. It's not that I'm dependant on him and neither is he on me. It's that..he complements me.
Tuition today was great. We ended late today, for the same reason as the previous sessions. She's such a darling to teach, really.
My mom, sis and aunt picked me up. Then we headed to Parkway! It's been ages since I went there.
And guess what? I cut my hair.
No more itchy fingers for the time being, huh? Lol.
When I'm down and feeling blue,
I close my eyes so I can be with you.
Today.
After the meeting, upon reaching Tanah Merah MRT station I realized I didn't want to go home and be alone. Not when I was already feeling lousy.
So I called Shaza. Lucky she was free. :) And lucky she wanted to meet up on such short notice.
We watched The Host. I just wanted to watch a movie, to relax, unwind and forget everything else for a moment. We talked alot too before the movie. I got everything that was bothering me out which made me feel alot better afterwards. :)
It was my first movie with her and we had the corner two seats in the cinema. So it was our first date! But hey, next time let's pick the couple seats, lol.
My friends are strong, amazing women.
It's been a strange few days. Been trying to keep up with my readings but they're coming at me fast! My heaviest module has got to be German. With two lectures weekly, it's almost as though I'm tackling two modules.
But hey, it's fun to immerse myself in school. What's even more fun is bumping into my friends [along the way making new friends] around school.
Despite all that, I just want him. I think right now I just want some quiet, peaceful time, away from the hustle and bustle of all things fun.
We'll do it all
Everything
On our own
We don't need
Anything
Or anyone
If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?
I don't quite know
How to say
How I feel
Those three words
Are said too much
They're not enough
Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life
Let's waste time
Chasing cars
Around our heads
I need your grace
To remind me
To find my own
All that I am
All that I ever was
Is here in your perfect eyes, they're all I can see
I don't know where
Confused about how as well
Just know that these things will never change for us at all
If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?
Watched Ghost Game just now.
Don't watch it if you're a scaredy-cat. Like me. I think Shahrul likes watching horror flicks with me because I make him seem brave because I'm more scared than he is and I'll be sticking my fingers into my ears at the same time.
He also likes going to Pizza Hut with me because he gets four slices of pizza while I'm stuffed after two.
(:
I'm in lecture using Nurain's lappie! =D
This morning I woke up at 5.30am to be in school by 8am for my PS tutorial. At 9am, we realized the tutor had a conference and hadn't bothered to inform anyone of his absence. =P
I think Philosophy is my favourite lecture because it's so relaxed and even though I don't really understand the stuff [we were warned of that], I think it's hilarious. Especially the way Holbo [cute name, right!] presents the dialogues.
But hey, I better buck up. My previous recharging episode was marred by my falling sick. Tee hee!
And Adilah's beside me. [Her words.] Listening diligently. [Her words again.]
Shaza's at Swensens now! I like to kacau her, lol.
Hey-de-ho!
I hate being sick. I'm a real baby when I'm sick. Ask Adilah and Shah. Heh.
Driving today was very bad. I don't know if it's because I'm sick or because it was raining but I kept striking the kerb. So..yeah. I don't know what now, come Monday.
After a series of good circuit lessons, this has to happen. Bleargh.
Sometimes the common man is so rude you want to just slap his face. Just now as I was walking past the Eunos foodcourt, some guy threw his cigarette at me to catch my attention. And I stupidly turned. Why? Because I thought it was unintentional and I wanted to glare at the callous bastard.
I want to recover!
What if I don't wanna forget
Don't want anyone but you
Believe me, it's true, for a while...forever
Just let me stay here with you
I don't wanna leave, I don't wanna leave
I owe Adilah a million thanks for teaching me how to borrow books and photocopy stuff for my readings. I have my first set of photocopied notes in my bag right now! Haha sometimes I act so jakun I embarrass myself.
I'm sleepy! I think I now need to get used to the fact that it's actually not taboo to smoke. Initially I had to get accustomed to all the PDA going on, hahah. Now that I've gotten used to that, it's the smoking thing.
If I said I loved you, what would you do?
A quick update before I get my work done..
Honestly? I haven't done any readings. There has been too many things to do and experience that I've been putting aside the readings. I better catch up on the work!
Just now Shah followed me all the way to my tutorial class. Sweet, huh. =) Along the way, he kept cracking [loud and VERY LAME] jokes about how he's in a hurry because he has to meet his friend in the hall later on.
I think I've been recharged. =)
Let's get ready to rumbleee!
On Friday night, I met up with Shahrul after his Brunei trip. Initially I was supposed to pick him up at the airport in the wee hours of the morning but his family sprung a sweet surprise on him, haha. On Friday also, my mom left for Perth with my aunt. Ooh I want to strangle her. She had seven months to go - seven months that I was free, but she chose to go when university starts for me. Grrr.
To be honest, while on the bus to Clementi to meet him, I didn't know what to expect. I felt very..blah. Haha Adilah was telling me that when I did meet him, I'd be very happy and that maybe the fact that I was actually going to meet him hadn't sunk in yet because I hadn't met him for so long. I was apprehensive about her words but all's good because it was later proven true. =)
She's so cute! Texted me during the date to ask me how it went because she was 'curious'. Haha =)
We headed to town, had a great time together as usual. Met him again yesterday where we watched The Break-Up. I really enjoyed the movie! Initially it was chosen as a last resort because I wanted a chick flick [heheh] and there wasn't any other better timings but I didn't expect the movie to move me so much. Especially the bit where Jennifer cried when he didn't meet her at the concert. It's as though you could really sense her frustration and her disappointment - the fact that she was trying to be strong and not let him see her cry. Although the movie was a little biased towards girls [haha!], I found it very real and hence, amusing yet sobering. I think that guys and girls will interpret the movie differently. And the ending! I loved the way it was unexpected yet hopeful. I loved the way he winked at her as though they both knew something good was about to happen. And what's going to happen next is bound to be amazing because they'd both cleaned up their lives - they had the courage to take a step back from everything, to re-examine themselves. I think Shah enjoyed the movie too.
After that was Samar's! I love the ambience. Tried the sheesha but couldn't quite get the hang of it, so I stopped trying. I didn't like it anyway. =P. Heheh. But yeah, I love the place. Although the food was a big disappointment. Hmmmm.
He just told me that two of his friends had broken up yesterday because their girlfriends decided they didn't have time for them. Well now, ain't that a sad thing? I figure it's more because of the timing of the trip - the fact that our boyfriends are away during our first two weeks in the university and everything's all moving so fast, alongside discovering many new things. I don't really know how to express this in words. I can understand what goaded the girls to that decision but I also feel sorry for them for giving up so soon.
I can see clearly now the rain is gone..
